Saturday, November 14, 2009

Aunt Mame, Aunt Gladys and ME

"...Sister Christian
There's so much in life
Don't you give it up
Before your time is due
It's true
It's true yeah

Night Ranger

I've always liked that song. It was funny that the other day I started hearing it again, a lot, on the radio. It got me to thinking that there was some truth in that. I'm still here...still breathing...still wanting to do so many things that I didn't get a chance to do. But I also realize that Tony hated me being sad or miserable. He sure as hell would be pissed off with me if I were just throwing it all away to lock myself away from the world.

Auntie Mame was a favorite movie of mine. My Aunt Gladys was also an inspiration all my life. She was earthy, smart, beautiful and gutsy. When I got older and after my divorce to Kelly, I swore that I was going to adopt some of her philosophy. Gladys passed away in 2003. She had survived her husband, my Uncle Gus, by some 15+ years. She grieved for him until the day she died, however, she also travelled, danced, dated, lived her life.

I could hear her voice in my head the other day and she was not too happy with me.

"Goddamn it, Sweetie! Your husband would not want you to be miserable for the rest of your life. Look at your Grandmother. Do you want to end up life her or your mother?"

I am not going to wind up alone, bitter and miserable. Yeah, it hurts. It will always hurt. But I am not going to sit here and rot like they did.

I have Chosen to Live!